Since when have I ever been this emotional...

The answer: Since I became a mom!
This one little word and title has been mine for almost a year now! I am a mom, I kiss booboos, give hugs, play goofy games, tickle her just to hear her giggle and adore her sweet little face. God has blessed me with the prestigious title of mom but sometimes I wish he wouldn't have given me such an emotional side with it.

I was the girl that never cried...heck before Aspen was born Randy had only seen me cry a total of 2 times in the total of 3 years. But it's like you become a mom and the emotional dam breaks loose. I tear up with her tears, I tear up with her laughs, and I tear up at the memories of everything. I am tearing up as I write this and I don't even know how to stop it!
I once heard a quote that says, "Deciding to have a child is deciding to forever have your heart outside of you walking around!" And I can't even tell you how much this quote is fitting. Aspen is my special girl and the last couple days have been the worst for me emotionally! Aspen is turning one this month...THIS MONTH! Can you hardly believe that it has been a year? Her party is this Sunday and being the nostalgic one I have been only since her birth I have made the mistake of looking through all her baby pictures. Bad idea!!
Looking at her baby pictures and looking at her now is just crazy. How she has grown, changed, and become this little person right before my eyes. I miss my little baby that would just sit in my arms staring and cooing at me...now she won't sit in my arms but instead runs around and yells loud babbles at me.
Aspen is such a sassy little thing and she has this personality that is so intriguing. I can't wait to see her grow and change more but I will always remember those days of cuddling and rocking. So as I watch my little girl grow and change I will continue to tear up at the memories of past...not because I can truly help it but God bestowed the gift of emotions on moms and as hard as they try not to,  their emotions are always out there for all to see. After all my heart is not in me instead it's running around in the body of a sassy little girl that captured it with her first breath and hasn't given it back since! Being a mom is magical!

Summer days...drifting away...

Well the whole blogging thing over the summer...yeah didn't work out so well. It was a crazy busy summer but it definitely was a fun one. I worked 5 days a week nannying for Jared and Benjamin again. They have gotten so big this last year and it was even harder on the last day this year then last. You put yourself into the lives of the little ones and get attached and then you don't see them all the time anymore. It's definitely weird.

We also took Aspen and heading out to Monroe for a long weekend with Tim, Trina, and Mike. It was great to see Dan, Meg, and their boys. All the boys have gotten so big. The weekend was a blast and all but coming home was a rough transition. Aspen was getting crankier then usual after returning and had a diaper rash thatkept getting worse and never got better. Finally we took her into the pediatrician's to see what the problem was we found out that she had a yeast infection and then they also looked at a little bump on her leg and we found out she also had a staph infection. Thank goodness we caught that early. It was the MRSA strand and was caught so early and she is perfectly fine now but it was definitely scary.

We also had a long weekend out camping while Aspen stayed with Randy's parents. The camping was so fun and we had a great time being baby free, swimming in the lake, reading books for fun, and just laying out in the sun. I got a little burnt but within a week it had all turned to a tan.

Now about 2 weeks ago classes started back up in school. It's my last semester WOOHOO! But it's a crazy crazy one. I am taking 19 credit hours and feel like I never get to see Aspen much. Thankfully she still remembers who I am when I do see her! :) I just keep reminding myself that after this semester I am done and all I have left is the student teaching this spring semester. I am scared/nervous for student teaching but also so excited it should be a fun experience.

Oh and in case you didn't know Aspen is doing GREAT! She's walking all over now and really becoming quite the personality. She turns one in less than a month and I can hardly believe it. I don't know where the time has gone. It definitely doesn't feel like it's been a year already. Her party theme is going to be ladybugs and I am hand-making all the decorations myself so let the insanity begin. Thankfully I made the banner and invites and all over the summer. I'll definitely be putting pictures up after her party in a few weeks.

That's life as of currently and I am writing down "blog" in my planner to make it a more consistent thing. I actually think it will be a nice break from school work. :) I hope everyone else is having a great week and that their labor day is a restful one if I don't blog until until after. God Bless!

The end is here...SO ready!

Tomorrow is my last class for the semester and I am so freaking thankful!! I have been crazy busy this week with my units and all and today finished the one due tomorrow. Thank God for summer breaks from school. The good news is only one more semester of classes and then I have my student teaching the end is near!!! Next year at this time I will be a college graduate!!! WooHoo!

Onto other recent happenings! On April 30, my little bebes turned 7 months old! I can hardly believe she is so old already. It seriously feels like just yesterday we were bringing her home from the hospital. I get teary eyed when I think of her getting so old already! So in honor of her 7 monthday her are her 7 monthday pictures I took! That face is just so stinking precious!!

Then last week we started another journey that we are excited for! We started cloth diapering. If you know me well I never thought I would be able to do cloth diapering because of the gross factor. But the numbers are in our favor when it comes to saving money that way! So the journey has begun. So far I am actually enjoying it and it has not been anywhere near as bad as I thought. So here are some pics of my little stinker modeling in her Bum Genius 3.0 cloth diapers. They are so stinking cute!

On to other matters. This last Sunday was my very 1st Mother's Day and our 2 year anniversary! Randy did very well and I had a great day! I got perfume for our anniversary, a Salon and Spa gift card for Mother's Day, and I suppsoedly have something else coming soon but I'm not allowed to know yet. So we'll see! I hope everyone has had a gret couple weeks and I will try and write soon! God Bless everyone!

The end is near...

School is going to be coming to an end for the semester so soon and I am so excited for summer and all the fun that goes along with that. I'll be nannying again so that will be fun and I get to take Aspen with me so that will definitely be an adventure, but an adventure I am definitely looking forward to.

So to back track a little bit...Aspen's 6 month appointment was great she was 17lbs 2oz and 25 and 1/2 inches long! So pretty average for her age. She had lots of shots which then led to screams in my ears for 5 minutes. And yes most of you would say "Duh! She just had shots!" and yes yes she did BUT stupid mommy thought that the shots were the reason...and no no they were not. The true culprit of all the screams folks was the nurse...the nurse holding down her legs while she gave the shots. Aspen HATES when her legs are being held down and she can't move them. How do we know this you ask, well, the nurse wasn't holding down her leg for one of the shots and Aspen didn't so much as flinch or cry. I have got a very odd baby.

Then a few days I decided I need to do my toe nails and then realized the Aspen's toes needed a little something to...the results is a creepy picture showing how much her feet look like mine...so for your enjoyment...our cute little tootsies.

And because I am good like that...her cute little toes matched her Easter dress. Easter went beautifully and Aspen did very well with all the shuffling around town and from house to house. I was thoroughly surprised with how well she did. She did so well in fact that we had no idea until Monday the day after Easter that her 1st tooth had come in over the weekend. It's crazy how much she is changing and growing. I really wish I would slow down time. But alas, I am not God so that would be impossible. And here is another picture for your enjoyment of my little bebes on Easter with her "basket!" I made the basket myself and painted the letters and added the furry trim...everything...I was so proud at how it turned out. And it was filled with teethers, new pacifiers, a couple rubber ducks(which Goliath decided were his), and the DVD of Snow White. Then of course the weather has FINALLY started to get nicer and we have been going on more walksso of course I decided Aspen has to ride ready for the sun. So one Target trip that was supposed to be for laundry detergent ended with this cute purchase as well...baby sunglasses...who knew they made something so logical for babies too?

With this nicer weather also brings about another one of Randy's favorite parts of the year...can anyone take a guess what? If you guessed baseball....DING DING DING you get a prize. It is baseball season and dear Randy is a very big fan of the Minnesota Twins and he decided he needs to starting training Aspen to cheer for the right team. So the result is this picture...do you think her chewing on the hat means anything?

Just can't get enough of that cute face can you! I can't either...but she is just getting so big and it's scary how much she has been changing...she is getting to the size in fact that its becoming a pain in the tush to lug around her infant seat all the time. Her 17 pounds plus the 10 pound seat is a lot to carry on one arm...so the solution is....TA DA

Her new convertible carseat...a Graco MyRide 65! She actually has 2 one for Randy's car and one for mine. We are so tired of switching carseats back and forth so of course the locial solution is 2 by 2...so 243 dollars(including an awesome new stroller) later we have her awesome new carseats. And if you know anything about her stroller she had it drives Randy and I up the flippin' wall. It has a wheel that squeaks like no other no matter what we do...no amount of WD-40 has been able to stop it and it's gotten to the point where we were avoiding taking walks or anything that involves a stroller... but I am definitely not going to carry her every where. So what does resourceful mommy do...she pulls out every Babies R Us coupon she can find and heads out with Aspen in tow. I'm sure I was quite the sight putting her in numerous strollers and car seats before finding the perfect ones and then making it up to the checkout. Well sort of... a employee had to help drag one of the car seat boxes to the front because there was no way I was able to get both car seats and stroller in the cart. Anywho sorry for the digression. I got up to the register and they did their thing with the coupons and drum roll please...I SAVED $163 with those coupons. The total would have been nearly 400 without those coupons but with them I spent only $243! I'm such a resourceful mommy. Oh...and here is the stroller I got...it's a Trendsport and very sleek looking if I may say so myself...

Oh...and remember how I said that we have 2 carseats one for his car one for mine? Well it's actually not going to be a car for me any more. I am getting my Mommy vehicle. We are getting a 2006 Dodge Grand Caravan and I am sooooo EXCITED. Randy's car finally pooped out and the result is me getting a new van and Randy will drive the Taurus. The extra space will be SOOOOO nice. Ok...I think I am done for now..but will definitely post soon and hopefully with pics of the new ride! :) God Bless Everyone!

Just another day in...

Paradise?? Well honestly it's just another day in a coffee induced state of awakeness. It's been one of those days...you other moms know what I mean. One of the days that getting stuff done seems impossible, your child is fussy without reason and is hard to comfort, the dog has been exceptionally whiney and needy, in the attempt to do laundry today a load is still in the washer after 2 hours waiting to be switched, homework, is only about half done and barely understandable in the first place, and I am on my 5th cup of coffee. Yes, that's right you read it right. My 5th!!!!

As you read this you may also be asking well what is she doning blogging if she has all that to do...well in case you aren't a parent the idea of getting to do what you want when you want as a paretn is non existent (I know that even non-parents don't have that luxury all the time either...but they usually get it more than parents do)! This is the first time I have been able to sit down and have a few minutes to myself and I am taking the chance and deciding to blog. *Shakes finger at myself* Bad mommy!

So back to my day! I firmly believe I should be taking a stock in coffee and I can definitely confirm that since joining the ranks of mommyhood I have trie numerous roasts, flavored, non flavored, and dozens of different flavors of creamers as well. I think that the coffee companies probably make a pretty penny from my investment in their products. Oh...and the best coffee drink by far I can't make but invest money into on a basis far too often then it should be....the Vanilla Light Starbuck's Energy Drink!!!!! So good and the thought makes me even more thirsty for one!

Ok back to the ongoings of life. Last week was spring break and it was very uneventful, the no classes was great but Randy had a painful abcess so that consumed two days of trying to even figure out what it was how to fix the pain and a urgent care visit and 297 dollars later he is now fine and we are thankful to have gotten it fixed. Then for one of the ideas I had the worst headache that I have EVER had in my life so it resulted in my laying on the couch when Aspen was occupied while Randy worked and praying that she would stay content and occupied until my headache finally went away. Thank God t finally went away. St. Patrick's Day consisted of me going to AWANA since I am the director and that was not the way I really wanted to spend St. Patty's but alas I had no choice. Oh and on a side note I don't have to Direct for them next year and I am passing the reigns to someone else. So glad to be able to have my Wednesday nights back. And I digressed again...

So I hear Aspen stirring in her room already so WOOT for that 20minute nap. Thank God she at least sleeps through the night. But I will leave you with these pictures. Aspen on St. Patty's with her Clover headband, one with her dad, and I also decided to pain her toes last Friday and so there is a picture of your cute pudgy feet...oh and one in her jumper..cause she jsut looked so stinking cute! Enjoy.

It's a miracle...

Posts 2 days in a row...who h=would have imagined that happening...but there is a reason. We have the conference this weekend and naturally I should be packing Aspen's bag for grandma Linda's. One little problem though...I put Aspen down for a nap in her room...and yes that's right her room is where all her stuff is that needs to be packed...do I dare go in and start packing and risk disturbing the sleeping giant...lol! Nope nope I think not...so alas I sit here and drink my coffee and wait for Randy to get home from work this morning.

Oh and the question that I am sure that is on everyone's mind after my last post.......the answer to where I slept last night.....*drumroll plays*
On the floor of her room...yes folks, I was that mother that is having a hard time letting her baby get older and I slept right next to her crib on the floor so I could easily check on her and Goliath curled up and slet next to me as well. That sleeping arrangement last until 5am when Randy got up for work, he woke me up and I moved to the bed for the last hour and a half or so of her sleep.
Definitely NEVER thought I would be this kind of mother and the emotional wreck Aspen has turned me into. But it is all worth it... I can not imagine life without her. Everytime I think about the moms that lose their babies or all different reasons my heart breaks and I feel saddened that the precious gifts would be taken from them. Like precious Olivia, I would be such a wreck after losing a child and her mother is such a strong woman. I can not believe how well she has perservered. I know that it can't be easy for her but she still keeps going. Olivia was beautiful and she has a story that will forever live in my heart. Then my dear friend that had to give birth to her sleeping baby boy on her actual due date...made it all the way to her 40 week appointment to find out his heart stopped beating. I just can't fathom the heartache. Everytime I think of these stories I hug Aspen a little tighter and when I am frustrated with her their stories remind me that I am getting to experience something that others do not no matter how hard they wish. I will forever be astounded by the women and the heartache they went through and they still carry it with them. I am grateful that I have my baby girl and will never understand why God takes some babies home before they ever really live. But his plan is the ultimate and I truly think that maybe they really were just too beautiful for Earth.

School will be the death of me...

So being a mother is the most amazing thing in my life that I have been able to experience. But add being a student in there and I feel like my life is just overly stretched out. I want to finish school but sometimes I get so tired and frustrated with it all that I sometimes wish I could quit...but then I have to remember that Randy probably has it so much worse then I do...he does school, being a father, and work. So I know he proabably has the stress even worse.

On an Aspen update she is almost 5 and 1/2 months old and getting bigger by the day. Even though she is growing she is still small for her age she is only 15lbs and 24inches long but because of her body shape and size she is still wearing 0-3 month clothes. She is still as adorable as ever and I feel blessed every day when she looks at me and smiles. The gift of motherhood is amazing and she is truly my greatest treasure in life. Oh...and Aspen is starting to teach me that she is not so little anymore. She has still been sleeping in the playpen bassinet next to my side of the bed and love being able to roll over and check on her during the night. But tonight Randy went to bed and when I tried to put her to bed she kept moving around, kicking the sides of the bassinet and just being very difficult. Randy was frustrated because he has to be up early in the morning and she was keeping him awake. So I took her and rocked her for awhile and even that didn't appease her. So I finally reluctantly put her in her crib and within 5 minutes she was out. I am so nervous about leaving her in there tonight...and wouldn't be surprised if I end up sleeping in there tonight I have become so emotional as a mom...I found myself crying today about the fact that she is soon to be 6months old. It seems like just yesterday she was born. Motherhood definitely has changed me in ways I never thought.

Now to let you guys in more on Randy and I...we are good beyond the whole busyness of life. This weekend I am psyched that we get to go to the "Weekend to Remember" marriage conference at the Hilton downtown. We went last year and loved it so I am so excited to go back and brush up on the skils we learned and to really get to spend some quality time with just Randy and I...it has been so long since we have had quality time together. Aspen will be with Grandma Linda and Grandpa Kim for the weekend. I know she will be perfectly fine and completely trust Linda with Aspen but I just can't help feel nervous more for me then for her. I will miss her.

I think that is about all I have for today...if you have made it to the end then I would have to give props to you! Hope God blesses you this weekend and I will update this next week (I will be on spring break next week).