Today I have gone through a wave of sadness...

It came out of nowhere and I do not know what even brought it on...but I had a wave of sadness today that was hard to break. Christmas day I would have just passed the 14 week mark for the baby I lost. I would be giddy with excitement of the new year and the new baby it would bring. Instead, I found myself holding the little stocking I got for the baby and crying. The stocking that would never be used and would never carry a name but one that represents a piece of my heart. My heart will always be missing that little piece but I have to continue to remind myself that God has a plan far greater than our own and He has a reason for everything in our lives. I can say that Aspen when she is older will know of her little sibling and how much they meant to mommy. So my comfort today came from a women on thebump.com who posts daily encouragement for women on the miscarriage and pregnancy loss board. It's a poem that hit home for me today and I had to share,

Spending Christmas with Jesus this Year

I see the countless Christmas trees
around the world below

With tiny lights, like Heaven's stars,

reflecting on the snow

The sight is so spectacular,

please wipe away the tear

For I am spending Christmas
with Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs

that people hold so dear

But the sounds of music can't compare

with the Christmas choir up here.

I have no words to tell you,

the joy their voices bring,

For it is beyond description,

to hear the angels sing.

I know how much you miss me,

I see the pain inside your heart.

But I am not so far away,

We really aren't apart.

So be happy for me, dear ones,

You know I hold you dear.

And be glad I'm spending Christmas

with Jesus Christ this year.

I sent you each a special gift,

from my heavenly home above.

I sent you each a memory

of my undying love.

After all, love is a gift

more precious than pure gold.

was always most important

the stories Jesus told.

Please love and keep each other,

my Father said to do.

I can't count the blessing or love

has for each of you.

So have a Merry Christmas

and Wipe away that tear

Remember, I am spending Christmas
with Jesus Christ this year