It's official...

Me heart is definitely not whole. I have been realizing more and more over the last two weeks that my heart is in fact fragile and not whole. The snow and the possibility of Randy and Aspen getting hurt actually makes me that neurotic mom that most people hate. The day that I had given my life to Christ and stopped living for myself, my heart was full and whole. Then came the day when I met Randy and as we dated and started to get to know eachother I fell head over heals in love with him and the day we said "I do" a piece of my heart was given to him and will always be with him. Then the day that we found out I was pregnant I felt a piece of my heart coming off again. This time to be kept with Aspen as she grew inside me and now as she grows outside of me. I constantly worry about both Randy and Aspen when I am not with them hoping that they are safe and ok. I knew it was normal to worry a bit but I felt like my worry was more than just a bit. Then the day we got in the car accident. I cried more than I ever thought I could. I cried because in the car was Randy, Aspen, Me, and my sister Kassandra. The thoughts of what could have happened to us made me break down and I have never held on to Aspen so hard as I did that night after the accident. I thank God everyday that we were not hurt and the only thing that was hurt was my car, which is fixable. So every day there are three pieces of heart that are in this world. Rany carries one deep in him and always will, Aspen had a piece grow inside her as she grew in me. When we have more kids I know that they to will carry a piece of my heart as well. Having your heart in pieces can be one of the most amazing feelings there is but also one of the most frightening. I now understand my grandma and her neurotic feelings for everyone in the family. But I have realized they aren't so neurotic. Amazing that it took getting married and having a kid to finally get it. But hey at least I got it right? My heart will never be whole again but knowing the love that comes along with that makes it so worth it. So here is a glimpse of the other 2 pieces of my heart and when the three are put together!